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Twins and Classroom Placement: What Can Parents Learn From the Research? As a writer of twin issues for more than a decade, there’s one question I hear time and again from parents of multiples: “What does the research tell us about the effect classroom separation has on twins?” Although there are only a handful of long-term studies that address this important twin topic, the good news is that nearly all of them conclude that twins who share a classroom do just fine when it comes to identity formation and even academic achievement. read more...
Wombmates to Roommates: Designing and Decorating a Shared Bedroom for Older Twins Stacey Cowen has a big problem. Her 15-year-old fraternal twin girls, Sydney and Samantha, share one bedroom, and they’re not happy about it. “They’re so miserable together that I’m at my wits end,” explains the New Rochelle, New York mom. “I think the cause of their frustration is lack of privacy. They just need some more space.” read more...
Walking a Thin Line: When One Twin is Much Heavier Than the Other As parents of twins we've all gotten used to constant comparisons tossed around at our twins' expense. You know what I'm talking about. "Which twin was the easier baby?" or "Who's more athletic?" Or, my personal pet peeve, "Which one is smarter?" Over the years we've learned to ignore these well-meaning busybodies who think they're simply making a joke. But there's one comparison that as parents even we can't ignore—what if one twin is much heavier than the other? read more...
Two Twins, Two Different Grades? What to Do When Only One Twin Struggles in School Each year parents of twins grapple with the question of whether they should separate their kindergarten-bound twins or keep the pair together. As hard as that decision is for some, just imagine if that question suddenly became, “Should we hold just one child back for another year?” read more...
A Quest For Independence: When Twins Enter Middle School Ever since my fraternal twin sons hit middle school a year ago, I’ve noticed a change in them. Yes, their voices are beginning to get that adolescent squeak, and yes, they’re beginning to grow as tall as weeds, but it’s something else. They’re bickering with each other. A lot. read more...
Double Talk: Do Your Twins Speak a Secret Language? A few months ago when Kari Butler’s twin boys (she’s thinks they’re fraternal but has not had them tested), Spencer and Parker, were 21 months old, she noticed them engaged in a conversation that was completely foreign to her. “I was in the kitchen with Parker and Spencer was in the playroom. Spencer babbled something loudly to Parker and then Parker babbled back,” explains the New Lebanon, Ohio mom. With Butler close on his heels, Parker then walked into the playroom to join his co-twin as if responding to a request. read more...
School-Age Twins: Will Too Much Togetherness Affect Your Twins’ Individuation? My teenage, fraternal twin sons have been in separate classes for many years and have different interests and personalities. Yet they still hang with the same friends, eat lunch together at school every day, and share a bedroom at home. Although I marvel at their close bond and deep friendship, I also can’t help but worry that all this twin togetherness may adversely affect them in the future. read more...
School-Age Twins: Getting Your Twins Ready for the First Day of Kindergarten As a parent of twins, you’ve had your share of really big milestones from the first time your double bundle slept through the entire night to the day they both were fully potty-trained. Yet if your twins turned five recently, you’ll be passing the biggest milestone of all—the first day of kindergarten. March is the month where many school districts begin enrolling new kindergarten recruits for the upcoming school year. And if you’re a parent of twins, I’m sure you’ll be the first in line to sign them up! (I know I was.) read more...
School-Age Twins: Are Your Twins Ready for Kindergarten? When Brenda Grinnell’s fraternal twin boys, Jeremy and Shawn, were eighteen months old, she taped colorful letters to a sliding glass door in the family’s home. Every day as her sons ran from living room to backyard, they’d pass the alphabet. “I’d point to the letters and say, this is an A, this is a B,” the La Crescenta, Calif. mom says. read more...
Calming a Twin Rivalry: When Twins Don’t Get Along Some days my fraternal twin boys compete with each other about everything from whose bowl of ice cream is bigger to who’s taller. It’s no wonder since throughout their lives friends and family have compared them to each other (even though they’re nothing alike in personality or appearance). And although comparing twins may seem innocent or even insightful, it’s the leading cause of rivalry as they ultimately turn their comparisons to each other. read more...
School-Age Twins: When Twins Differ in Abilities When my fraternal twin boys were in the second grade, I noticed that one son was having trouble learning to read. When we snuggled together for our nightly story, each taking a turn reading a page out loud, Michael read his passage quickly and flawlessly while Joseph struggled to decode the words on the page in front of him. He became frustrated easily, too, especially when his twin would try to help him sound out the words. During a teacher-parent conference later that year, his teacher confirmed our suspicions. Joseph was reading more than two grade levels below the rest of his class. read more...
School-Age Twins: How Twins Develop Friendships As parents of twins or triplets, we anxiously await the day when our multiples play together for the first time. From the moment they arrive home from the hospital and we place them together in the same crib, we watch and wait, dreaming of the day they’ll become close companions. read more...
Twins and Sports: Are Your Twins Fierce Competitors or Great Teammates? When we arrived at the swim meet, my boys immediately jumped in the water to warm up while I scanned the roster of the day’s events. Medley relay, butterfly, backstroke—check. Then I stopped. Not only were my fraternal twins both swimming in the 50 meter freestyle—we were used to that—but their seed times were so close that the league put them in the same heat, and in lanes right next to each other. Talk about head-to-head competition. What were we gearing up for? read more...
Organizing Twins: Should You Give Your Twins an Allowance? Every day during my three sons’ half–hour dose of commercial television, I hear the words, “Mom, can we get that?” at least a half dozen times. An innocent trip to any store with even just a hint of toys or candy turns into a three-act play of “The Gimmies.” Two of their favorite questions: “Can’t you just go to the ATM?” or “When’s your next payday?” leave me throwing up my arms up in frustration. read more...
Organizing Twins: How to Have a Stress-Free Christmas It seems like just yesterday that the summer ended and the school year began, but here we are again quickly approaching another holiday season. And although it’s a great time of year to be a parent as you watch the magic and excitement through your twin’s eyes, it’s also a crazy time as you hustle to buy gifts for everyone from the baby-sitter to Great Uncle Ned, curse the endless strings of tangled lights, and plan a Christmas menu for 40 of your closest relatives. So how can you do it all without turning into the Grinch? Easy. Don’t do it all. read more...
Organizing Twins: Making Dinner Delightful It’s six PM. Do you know where your dinner is? If you’re like most busy parents these days, it’s probably somewhere at the bottom of a grocery bag waiting to be unpacked and popped into the microwave, or worse yet, just sitting on the kitchen counter frozen solid with no future dinner plans in sight. And to top it off, the kids have just circled the wagons around the kitchen whining that they want to eat now! If you rush to get dinner to the table every night (getting a bad case of indigestion in the process), following these three simple rules are sure to help ease the chaos and turn an evening of frustration into a super supper. read more...
Organizing Twins: Tips for Managing Your Mornings If you’re tired of singing the “Hurry up! You’re going to miss the school bus,” blues, you’re hardly alone. Weekday mornings are always chaotic, especially for families with twins and triplets. Seconds before rushing out the door, you can always find children scrambling through the house hunting for that missing science report, gym uniform, or favorite hair band while Mom frantically signs permission slips with one hand and stuffs the ubiquitous peanut butter and jelly sandwiches into lunch boxes with the other. read more...
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